Monday, June 11, 2012

Obituary of a Small Town



Dateline Capital City: Word has reached us of the passing of the state’s rural icon Samuel Drucker at age 96. Sam, as he was known so fondly by the people of many small communities here abouts, was a civic leader and proprietor of the Hooterville General Store for many decades until its closing in 2001. He is reported to have died at his post greeting patrons at the Super Walmart in Pixley, which opened shortly before his own store closed.

Hooterville hasn’t fared well since Sam left along with most of its original residents. The houses that are still occupied provide shelter for the undocumented immigrant labor force that work at the sprawling hog confinement operation that occupies the former Ziffel and Douglas farms.

It’s also been reported that Sam was distraught over the death of Eb Dawson who was killed in a Meth lab explosion last year. It was his belief that Eb was really murdered along with Arnold Ziffel IV for organizing opposition to a natural gas fracking operation that has been rumored to be to blame for fouling the valley’s groundwater. Newly appointed Sheriff Haney assures this reporter from his office at the county seat that there is no truth to the rumor.

Sam’s family asks that in lieu of flowers donations be made to the Crabwell Corners Food Bank.

2 comments:

Dave said...

Sometimes fiction speaks the truth better fact. Nicely done!

Ed Encho said...

Brilliant! You always amaze me sir and this one is another classic.

Keep up the great work.

EE